Review: Best Bondage Erotica 2015

Best Bondage Erotica 2015This isn’t the first time I’ve reviewed a bondage themed anthology and in my review of The Big Book of Bondage I suggested that I might be a bit biased, destined to love any collection of bondage you throw in front of me because, well, bondage. Luckily I don’t have to turn in my unbiased reviewer membership card because as it turns out this isn’t the case at all.

Best Bondage Erotica 2015 was a roller coaster from the first page, including some stories that made me wonder how I’d make it to the end without the help of my new favorite vibrator, and others that feature dialog and euphemisms that were truly ridiculous.

Not far in I’m presented with the delightful treat of a 1950’s themed tale in The Thug by Sommer Marsden. Complete with “doll faces” and “dames”, hosiery and garter belts this story is as delightfully campy as it is erotic. The dialog is playfully over the top and the whole things becomes a caricature of what the 1950’s might have actually looked like, but despite all of this, or maybe because of it, I had a ball… and an orgasm or two.

Then there was Housewarming the Craftsmen, full of flirty banter, bondage, and dirty talk, it was set up to be exactly the sort of thing I love, but the writing of the story itself, well, that’s where it all fell apart.

“Push,” she sobbed. “Push, baby! Into your wanton wife’s little pucker.”

Um… What? And that’s not the worst of it, “forbidden pleasures building between her legs”, a “tiny brown asterisk”, her “vast nether regions” it just goes on and on.

Best Bondage Erotica ContentsThat’s really the crux of the problem with this book. It has fantastic stories of restraint but they’re peppered with stories just a little too euphemistic and bad porn-y. I guess that’s the big obstacle when it comes to writing erotica, because you can pull out all the stops but if the reader doesn’t find it panty-droppingly hot it’s just going to sound absurd.

Another favorite, Tying the Knot was a great story about two men1 on the night before their wedding when one, already notorious for being indecisive, expresses that he has cold feet. Well his fiance does what any loving fiance would do, comforts him until he falls asleep… and then ties him up and drags his ass to the alter.

Then, less than a week after my first yoga classBaddha Konasana by Corvidae treated me to a yummy yoga themed fantasy with a dreamy instructor and consent dialog that made me squee.

“Can I touch you?” he asks, his breath surprisingly close to my ear. I stifle a gasp and nod.

Corvidae nails the sexual tension and flirty dialog, making me just beg for them to touch already. This is the kind of thing I love. It’s not forced, there’s not too much, but it’s as if I’m in the room with them and the energy is palpable.

Liar Liar Oh Come OnQueen for a Night, was going along just fine. Not particularly my cup of tea but it could easily thrill someone else, that is until…

His large meaty cock bobbed in earnest, perpendicular to his flat belly, a love soldier standing proudly at attention.

Love soldier? Really? Ugh. Moving on.

Things quickly turned around when the book gave me two stories that manage to be both incredibly hot AND safe depictions of kink. Take that Fifty Shades of Grey.

Tied and Twisted is all about rope suspension in the woods (!!!) and seamlessly includes another person simply to monitor the safety of the situation. He checks the security of the ropes and provides support for the person once they’re in the air, well that and whispers sweet filthy nothings into her ear, so I guess he can multitask.

Cocoon on the other hand tells the story of Ruby as she experiences mummification, something I frankly find a little terrifying, for the first time. Paula, an experienced top, checks in every step of the way to make sure everyone is on board and engaged. The author, Annabeth Leong, explores what it’s like for Ruby to push her own boundaries for the first time, the fear, and the conflict between the instinct to safe-word and the desire to keep pushing and live out this fantasy.

brave headdeskI told you this book was a roller coaster I guess it’s just been too good for too long because then there was Stuck On You. What starts with a couple removing the wallpaper from Jane’s dead dad’s room ends with her slipping, falling, and gluing herself to the wall. Seriously, what? THEN Mike pours the soap for removing the paper all over her body and fucks her against the wall… I just, I really can’t. I can’t think of a location that could be any less sexy and then the idea of leftover wallpaper glue really being enough to bind anyone? I’m just gonna pass on this story thanks.

Lets finish out with some good news though shall we? Because some of my favorite stories come around at the end of the book. You Shall Not Come by D.L. King makes sex into a game, challenging one partner to get the other off as fast as they can. I love a little playful competition, especially when it ends in orgasms. Then Point and Click watches the tables turn on a cam model as she gives over control to a beautiful and powerful viewer in her room, what follows is some tantalizing mental bondage and voyeurism in a way you might not expect.

Now comes the part where I’m supposed to tell you if I’d recommend Best Bondage Erotica 2015 but the problem is, I really don’t know. I’m completely torn. The stories that I liked, I really really loved. Bondage? Creativity? Consent? Safety? There are so many great things in here, but the ones that are bad? Well, they’re pretty bad, and then there’s a whole handful I’m indifferent about. If creative bondage tales are your thing, as they are mine, and you’re not looking for something super queer (most of the stories are pretty hetero-centric) then I think you might enjoy this, as long as you skim over the not-so-great. If however, you’re looking for the one bondage anthology to rule them all then you’re better off passing on this one and grabbing something else.

  1. Which, by the way, is a coupling I don’t see nearly enough in these anthologies, just saying. []
This isn't the first time I've reviewed a bondage themed anthology and in my review of The Big Book of Bondage I suggested that I might be a bit biased, destined to love any collection of bondage you throw in front of me because, well, bondage. Luckily I don't have to turn in my unbiased reviewer membership card because as it turns out this isn't the case at all. Best Bondage Erotica 2015 was a roller coaster from the first page, including some stories that made me wonder how I'd make it to the end without the help of my new favorite…

Review Overview

Characters and Story
Written Structure
Diversity
Eroticism

Yes.

Summary : The good was really, really good. But the bad? Well...

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About Bex

Bex talks about sex, a lot, and feels this is the only way to reduce the stigma and lack of education surrounding it. When they're not trying to save the world, talking about sex to strangers, typing frantically, or sticking things in various holes they are usually indulging the other facets of their geekery.
  • Just thought I’d let you know that a glob of my salad went right up my nose as I got to “your wanton wife’s little pucker”, oh my godddddd

  • Lunabelle

    Now I know why you found the EuphOff so amusing! At least we were TRYING to write badly. Brown asterisk is right up there with chocolate starfish and coffee bean!

    • Bex

      I actually read the EuphOff before this but I read a lot of erotica so I come across this shit a lot. Sometimes it’s just so SO bad…

  • Rayne Millaray

    Dude, the gifs make it. Especially the one from Liar, Liar.

    Ugh. Bad porn-y erotica. This is still a thing? ~sigh~

    • Bex

      YES! It was just perfect. Now I really want to watch the movie again though. haha