Dating and Relationships

Ask Bex – Feeling Unattractive and Boundary Violations

Ask Bex

Hi Bex, Lately I’ve been feeling unattractive, a combination of self esteem/image issues and the fact that I can’t take a decent selfie to save my life. I worry that most of what I have to offer a potential partner is in how I act and what I say, but am concerned that my appearance concerns make it so I never get that far. What should I do?  Thanks, Blue in Green Bay Oooofff, Boy …

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5 Easy Ways to Level Up Your Nudes

Last year I attended an amazing sexting workshop with Tina Horn in promotion for her new book. I waited excitedly through the sections on dirty talk, where I was inspired to add language to my Yes/No/Maybe List, because I was already confident in my sexting storytelling skills, what I wanted to talk about was nudes. I just knew this porn performer and pro domme would have so many ideas for new ways to show off …

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Read the Room, Dude! How to Tell if They’re Into You

Time and time again, when I ask people their biggest struggle with flirting, it boils down to one of two things: “I can never tell if people are into me…” OR “But what if I’m being a creep?!?!?” In both cases, my answer is the same. Read the damn room. Turns out, the more someone is into you, the harder creepiness is to achieve.1 People that are creepy are people that are too forward at …

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Flirting While Kinky

We’ve all been there right? There’s this cute boy who just started in your office, or the girl who sits at your local bar on Friday nights, or that babe from the gym. You’ve exchanged furtive glances, giggled over protein shakes, and shared your mutual enthusiasm for Bioware games over shitty beers. Every night you go home alone and every night you think about the things you’d like to do if you didn’t. The things …

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Six Steps to Crafting the Perfect Online Dating Message

I spend a lot of time on online dating sites, and I get a lot of messages. I answer something around 20% of them. The internet has given us access to a nearly infinite supply of potential suitors, and if you want to actually meet someone, you’re going to have to learn to stand out from the crowd. Even on a niche site like SwingTowns you’ll be met with thousands of users, move on to …

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Ask Bex- Dating While Queer and Platonic Kink

Ask Bex

          Dear Bex. I’m newly single, and realized that the feeling I’ve had about my gender for many years now places me in the queer/questioning column. This is in part due to the fact that I’ve never really identified with mainstream masculine traits, and in part because of my experience with testosterone HRT due to a birth defect that caused my body to stop producing sex hormones in an amount consistent …

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Six Sexting Slip-Ups and What To Do Instead

Sexting

I really love sexting. From exploring in internet chat rooms as a teenager to my current LDR, I think it’s probably safe to say that the majority of my sexual experiences have been digital. In all of my digital dalliances, I’ve seen how sexting can go very right (shout out to my Sir who has the power to utter only a few words and get me hard whenever he wants) and I’ve seen it go …

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I Won’t Be Answering Your Message

I Won't Be Answering Your Message

Dear Sir/Madame/Majestic Space Creature/Ethereal Fae, I regret to inform you that I will not be answering the message received in my dating inbox on ______. I am a very busy person, which is the reason I am on this dating app in the first place; and as you might imagine, I receive quite a number of messages. I’m very cute. Due to the high volume of contact, I just don’t have time to answer everything …

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Ask Bex- Retail Rendezvous and Twitterpated Tweeting

Ask Bex

I have a crush on a barista at a café I frequent. He seems potentially interested in me – always remembers my name and my order, asks me how my day is going, and continues to make conversation with me even after I’ve ordered/paid/sat down – but I’m not sure if he’s just being friendly because it’s his job to be friendly. How do I make a move without making things awkward? Sincerely yours, Confused, …

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Ask Bex- Gender Expression and Book Recommendations

Ask Bex

Hi Bex! I am in a poly relationship and I struggle with my bisexual role with my girlfriend. I want to explore being more “butch” as it feels right with her but that isn’t my day to day identity with my husband or my boyfriend/Dom. I can’t get my brain and social norms to stop influencing my behavior when I am with her. We have talked about this before and she is understanding and wants …

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