Dating and Relationships

Ask Bex- Dating While Queer and Platonic Kink

Ask Bex

          Dear Bex. I’m newly single, and realized that the feeling I’ve had about my gender for many years now places me in the queer/questioning column. This is in part due to the fact that I’ve never really identified with mainstream masculine traits, and in part because of my experience with testosterone HRT due to a birth defect that caused my body to stop producing sex hormones in an amount consistent ... Read More »

Six Sexting Slip-Ups and What To Do Instead


I really love sexting. From exploring in internet chat rooms as a teenager to my current LDR, I think it’s probably safe to say that the majority of my sexual experiences have been digital. In all of my digital dalliances, I’ve seen how sexting can go very right (shout out to my Sir who has the power to utter only a few words and get me hard whenever he wants) and I’ve seen it go ... Read More »

I Won’t Be Answering Your Message

I Won't Be Answering Your Message

Dear Sir/Madame/Majestic Space Creature/Ethereal Fae, I regret to inform you that I will not be answering the message received in my dating inbox on ______. I am a very busy person, which is the reason I am on this dating app in the first place; and as you might imagine, I receive quite a number of messages. I’m very cute. Due to the high volume of contact, I just don’t have time to answer everything ... Read More »

Ask Bex- Retail Rendezvous and Twitterpated Tweeting

Ask Bex

I have a crush on a barista at a café I frequent. He seems potentially interested in me – always remembers my name and my order, asks me how my day is going, and continues to make conversation with me even after I’ve ordered/paid/sat down – but I’m not sure if he’s just being friendly because it’s his job to be friendly. How do I make a move without making things awkward? Sincerely yours, Confused, ... Read More »

Ask Bex- Gender Expression and Book Recommendations

Ask Bex

Hi Bex! I am in a poly relationship and I struggle with my bisexual role with my girlfriend. I want to explore being more “butch” as it feels right with her but that isn’t my day to day identity with my husband or my boyfriend/Dom. I can’t get my brain and social norms to stop influencing my behavior when I am with her. We have talked about this before and she is understanding and wants ... Read More »

Five First Date Conversation Starters For Nervous Nerds

First dates are weird, they’re awkward. You’re sitting alone with someone you barely know, drink in hand, trying to decide if you want to get all up close and naked with them. For me, this is honestly one of the most stressful environments around. Public speaking? Fine, I own the room, I control what happens. Huge parties? Whatever, if I run out of things to say or start feeling awkward I can just fade into ... Read More »

Seven SFW Saucy Snaps to Send Your Sweetie

Saucy Snaps

My Sir lives more than 12k miles away from me, so, as you might imagine, sexting is a pretty vital part of our relationship. That said, the cocktail of gender dysphoria and insecurities brewing in my brain mean I’m not always in the right headspace to send him nudes every time I want to get sexy. On top of that we’re not always in situations where it’s feasible to be looking at each other’s junk, as ... Read More »

Talk Flirty to Me

Cropped Flirt Fetish

I have jerked off to flirty banter alone. Not like, sexting with a cute human and getting myself off in the process. Not even just remembering that flirty moment where a cute human said something clever and I for once was sure that they were actually definitely into me. Well, I mean, I’ve done those things too. No, I mean I regularly lay in my bed imagining a conversation that never happened with a person who ... Read More »

No, My Last Relationship Wasn’t a Waste

Bex at Desk

Not long ago I was chatting with a co-worker when I casually mentioned my ex. I mentioned, in passing, that we had been together for more than six years and she said: “Wow, that’s terrible that over six years of your life was wasted with him.” She wasn’t trying to be awful, in fact, I think she was trying to be supportive. It’s a common sentiment after a breakup, but when you think about it ... Read More »