Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Maia Wand

Maia Wand Review

I had a dream about this wand. I dreamed that someone recommended that I use it upside down and backwards, and when I tried it I thought “Wow! This isn’t half bad!” Dream me is an idiot. And let me be clear, I wasn’t dreaming about the Maia Wand because I was overcome with excitement to try it, in fact, it was quite the opposite. I was dreading wasting a perfectly good masturbation session on ... Read More »

A Pup and Their Pure Plug

Pure Plug and New Bottoming Book

The first time my Sir punished me was also the first time I wore the Njoy Pure Plug out of the house. In the past I’d worn other plugs in public, mostly the Bootie, occasionally the Tantus Juice, but every time I tried my large Pure Plug it just felt, well, large. It was so substantial and heavy that the thought of wearing it for any length of time was intimidating. It was two days ... Read More »

Review: Vixen Maverick

I’m bad at favorites. I don’t have a favorite movie, and if I have to decide on a birthday dinner I’m suddenly reminded of every vaguely delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. When people ask me who “my” Doctor is, the answer is whichever one I’ve watched most recently, and my favorite Pokemon is an entire damn team.1 However, I can confidently say: the Maverick is my favorite dildo. I know I’ve said this before, but to be ... Read More »

Review: L’amourose Prism VII

L'amourose Prism VII

If you read even a small handful of sex toy blogs, you’ve heard of the Lelo Mona 2, everyone’s favorite multipurpose vibe. For a good long time, the Mona was my go to recommendation for people who wanted a high end beginner toy. The gently curved shaft is comfortable internally or externally, the powerful motor offers a wide range of speeds, it’s rechargeable, waterproof, silicone, all around just a really solid vibe. Then Lelo started ... Read More »

Review: Hole Punch Fluke

Hole Punch Fluke

Sometimes I can tell you right away how I feel about a toy. Right out of the box1 I’m either writing love sonnets or brainstorming the most effective ways to destroy it for all eternity. Other times I am decidedly indifferent about a product, I couldn’t care less if it fell onto my clit or into a volcano, both instances would be met with a resounding “meh”. It’s rare that a product oscillates between these ... Read More »

Review: Tantus Uncut #1 & #2

Tantus Uncut #1 & #2

It’s been two months since writers block hit and in that time I’ve developed a rather impressive backlog of things I need to tell you about. There was #DildoHoliday, and Woodhull, and countless new toys. There have been new friends, and OKC misadventures, and some pro-level flirting, but through all of that there’s one thing that I feel most guilty about not sharing with you. We need to talk about how amazing these new Tantus Uncuts are. ... Read More »

Review: Eroscillator 2 Plus w/ Soft Finger

Eroscillator 2 Plus

Part sonic screwdriver, part steampunk electric toothbrush the Eroscillator 2 Plus looks like the kind of toy your mom would have spent her formative years jerking off with, and she very well might have. This thing has been around forever- it’s the hipster retro foreign film of sex toys. It may not be a household name like The Wand Formerly Known as the Hitachi but it has garnered a much deserved cult following from those in the know. What ... Read More »

Review: L’Amourose Rosa

L'Amourose Rosa

For a long time in the sex toy world there have been only a handful of prominent companies making luxury vibrators and we always turned to them for the next big release. That is, until late last year when L’Amourose burst onto the scene with glowing endorsements from both Lilly and JoEllen, quickly making a name for themselves with the potential to be next big luxury company. Many bloggers certainly seem to think so at least, and when ... Read More »

Review: Lelo Siri 2

Lelo Siri

Lelo! You were listening! All those times I said that what we really needed was a Siri 2, you actually heard me. You got a little distracted, sure, with gold plated plastic you thought looked classy, gimmicky toys galore, and truly horrible marketing campaigns. But we can forget all of that because now you’re back! Back to what you do so well, your classic designs, and it looks like you gave me everything I asked ... Read More »

Review: JeJoue Uma

JeJoue Uma and JeJoue Mimi

I am disappoint. It took me a long time to get around to trying products from JeJoue, but when I finally did get my hands on a JeJoue Mimi I quickly fell in love with the super smooth silicone and unique, rumbly vibrations. Naturally, it didn’t take me long to wind up with an Uma, Mimi’s bigger badder cousin. We all know how much I love g-spot toys, and how great longer handles on vibrators can be for ... Read More »