Review: Vixen Maverick

I’m bad at favorites. I don’t have a favorite movie, and if I have to decide on a birthday dinner I’m suddenly reminded of every vaguely delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. When people ask me who “my” Doctor is, the answer is whichever one I’ve watched most recently, and my favorite Pokemon is an entire damn team.1 However, I can confidently say: the Maverick is my favorite dildo. I know I’ve said this before, but to be ... Read More »

Review: Hole Punch Fluke

Hole Punch Fluke

Sometimes I can tell you right away how I feel about a toy. Right out of the box1 I’m either writing love sonnets or brainstorming the most effective ways to destroy it for all eternity. Other times I am decidedly indifferent about a product, I couldn’t care less if it fell onto my clit or into a volcano, both instances would be met with a resounding “meh”. It’s rare that a product oscillates between these ... Read More »

Review: Tantus Uncut #1 & #2

Tantus Uncut #1 & #2

It’s been two months since writers block hit and in that time I’ve developed a rather impressive backlog of things I need to tell you about. There was #DildoHoliday, and Woodhull, and countless new toys. There have been new friends, and OKC misadventures, and some pro-level flirting, but through all of that there’s one thing that I feel most guilty about not sharing with you. We need to talk about how amazing these new Tantus Uncuts are. ... Read More »

Review: BS is Nice Medium Vaca G-Spot Dildo

BS is Nice Vaca

I love to collect things. Anything really: trading cards, Disney pins, plushies, gaming memorabilia, and of course, sex toys. Often times this leads me to making purchases which are justified simply by phrases like “but I neeeeeeed it”, or “well, I have all the other ones”, or “common, have you ever seen a cow patterned dildo before?” Because I mean really though, have you? It was designs like this that drew me to BS is Nice in the ... Read More »

Vixskin Mustang Review

Vixen Vixskin Mustang

I am in love with the Vixskin Mustang. Head over heals, doodling hearts in notebooks and naming our future children in love with the Mustang. If Vixen Creations ever even considered discontinuing it I would buy backups and then backups for those backups. No, strike that, I would personally raise the money to fund the production of these for the rest of forever. If you’re not familiar with Vixen Creations, you need to be. They are a fantastic company that ... Read More »

Vamp Barbarella Review

A few months ago the amazing Lorax posted their Epic Silicone Guide which included a list of silicone toy manufactures in order of their perceived shore strength. Ever since then I have been using it as my very own personalized shopping list for squishy silicone dongs. Vixskin? I’ve had it for a while and love it. New York Toy Collective? Shilo Acquired. Vamp has a Softskin material? AND they make toys in amazing swirly colors (and glitter!)? One will ... Read More »

NY Toy Collective Shilo Review

  ***Do you like to watch? Check out my video review for Shilo.*** I was a skeptic. Although there are a handful of “Pack n’ Play” dildos1 out there, I’m typically of the mind that if they’re hard enough to fuck they probably don’t make the best packers (unless you want the whole world seeing your boner, in that case more power to you) and if they’re small/soft enough to pack with, I probably don’t ... Read More »

Tantus Bound Review

Tantus Bound

Growing up reading fan fiction I developed a deep love for crossovers, so when I heard the two of my favorite companies, Tantus and SheVibe, would be working together I knew things were going to be good,  just look at the result! Bound is definitely one of the most unique toy designs that I’ve ever seen, featuring a beautiful realistic style complete with bulging veins and wrinkled skin. It’s so much more than just another ... Read More »

Tantus Tsunami Review

Tantus Tsunami

I have a confession to make, I should have said something sooner, but I think the time is right. I have a shallow vagina. I know it may be shocking and please don’t judge me too harshly, but I just can’t accommodate the length some others can. That is why I can never love the Tantus Tsunami. I look on, envious as my peers review the largest of toys while I am felled by something ... Read More »

Tantus Slow Drive Review

Tantus Slow Drive

While at Catalyst Con Tantus debuted six new designs, the Sport, Sport Long, Slow Drive, Slow Drive Long, Warm Up, and Amsterdam. Most of them, the exception being maybe the Amsterdam, were relatively simple. Featuring no real texture the totally smooth body of the toys have only a curve at the tip to stimulate the G or P-spots. What drew me to these simple looking toys was not the design, but the colors, because what’s ... Read More »